I thought I was done…
At 4-something A.M., I typed the last fullstop and I thought I was done.
I had finally finished Chapter 40.
And I woke up this morning and was ecstatic.
But I had to remind myself to be excited. It wasn’t automatic. I suppose subconciously I already knew.
Did you ever read Fitz’s Tender is the Night? Maybe not unless you had to for class or you’re an English scholar or otherwise extremely interested in work by the Lost Gen.
But just a few weeks ago, we were discussing him in class and my Lost-Gen-loving prof asked us what we thought of the ending. And we had to be honest – we thought it was rushed. So did she.
So did Fitz.
Tender is the Night was a nine-year project. And I got impatient by Year 4, so I can easily imagine the necessity to just write an ending and get it over with, even if it’s not the ending.
But was it worth it?
I couldn’t forgive Fitz for how he rushed then. And I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I rushed now.
Four years… I’ve spent four years so far on this novel. Four years filled with writer’s blocks, re-writes, rants on how to move forward and I’d be devastated if I didn’t continue to give it my all.
My best friend and I used to tell each other how patience was key, mostly because neither had it much then, and still try to have it now.
There are times when it’s okay not to be patient – when you don’t care about an outcome. When you decide ‘good enough’ is good enough.
This is not one of those times.
I have another idea for the ending. It might go up to Chapter 41 or 42 even.. It might take another week. But it’s worth it.
