Forget 60%. He could’ve hit the 99.99% and it still wouldn’t have made a difference. Don’t get me wrong, he’s terrific. I really do like him a lot and maybe we can be friends and I hope that whatever ends up happening, he’s happy. But it just won’t work.
It won’t work with any of them.
Because I’m still in love with my best friend, with my Mr. Hopeful, with that one person that makes me feel… Feel what? Happy? Lots of people and lots of things and lots of experiences make me feel happy. Beautiful? Nah, I feel that all the time regardless. I don’t know how to describe it. And I think that’s the beautiful part.
What’s even more beautiful is while I’ve fallen in love (and probably never out) with so many people, and dated quite a few… I’ve never had the opportunity to date someone who I deem a best friend until him.
He makes me feel…
I don’t know.
But it feels good.
Maybe that’s the best way to describe it. Good.
Even with all the possible ups and downs, the ones we’ve been through, the ones we will go through… I feel good. And I hope he feels good.
That’s important.
I realized this: I really do want to be with him. And at the moment, for his reasons, he doesn’t. Eventually one of us will change their mind. And even if we don’t, that’s still okay. What’s important is that no matter what, we’re there for each other.
Doesn’t matter what label we tack to ourselves as long as we’ve got each other for as long as possible.
