Maladaptive Daydreaming means two things:
1. Doing anything and everything without real-world consequences.
2. Being able to process real-world stress in a stress-free way.
When you’re in the real world and you’re talking out your problems, the truth is no one other than you is ever going to hundred-percent understand you and your feelings.
But when you’re in your mind talking to a figure that represents your subconcious, they understand everything. And they provide you the psychoanalysis that you crave. They tell you all your problems and all the solutions without you having to break your brain.
I don’t know if every other maladaptive daydreamer’s got it this way. But for me, my daydreams, sometimes, are like therapy sessions.
But the only thing better than talking to an imaginary therapist is talking to an imaginary lover.
And I have thousands.
Some are based on TV and movie characters. Some are based on people I know in real life. Some on actors. Some on exes I’ve tried dating a few times. Some are with men I know I’ll never have a chance with in real life.
It’s therapeutic to delve into your mind with the object of your affection and take your fantasies as far as they’ll go, figure out the ins and outs of what will and won’t work, and then return to the real-world knowing none of your experiments will lead to either of your lives blowing up.
So… the married man. The one I talked about in “Stupid Crush“.
Yeah, I have feelings for a married man. Not the first time, won’t be the last.
I can’t exactly pinpoint what triggered this series of daydreams all of a sudden but I can’t shake him lose.
Except here’s the thing, the longer I daydream about someone, the furthur that daydream version of them dissociates from the real-life version of them. And so do my feelings.
In my mind, I can go as far as having an affair, or even as far as becoming his new wife, or even furthur… I could spend a lifetime in his arms. But at that point, the daydream version is only based on the real-life version. They’re two seperate entities.
And when this happens, something miraculous happens: I get over the real-life version. That stupid crush dissipates because I realize my daydream version will always be better and attainable.
“Navvu” and “Sundara” are about the daydream version. I woke up at 2:30 A.M. yesterday, unable to fall back asleep, my mind filled with images of him and I dancing and laughing and… talking. We talked about life, we talked about love, and we even talked about the fact that NY is meant for walking and not taking the subway.
And I felt… good.
My real life at the moment is filled with too many things to do, not enough time, and is very close to giving me a very real headache. Or a very real anxiety attack.
Compared to that, spending time up in my mind with a hottie who may never be a possibility in real life but who provides me with immense pleasure and warmth in my daydreams is just… good.
Also… dream sex is always better than real sex. You get double the pleasure with zero percent of the pain.
