***Deleted this a while ago. Originally posted in Summer 2022. But publishing it again because it’s got some good points from a philosophy angle and relationship advice.
A while ago a friend of mine point blank asked me what I would do if Meri Jaan suddenly sprung it on me that there was some other girl in love with him.
I guess they supposed I would break into tears or have a panic attack. I was slightly offended to be honest. I said I wouldn’t care. I would shrug it off because so what. People have feelings for people all the time. As long as he doesn’t have feelings for anyone else or rather doesn’t act on any feelings for someone else, why should I care?
Easier said than done, right?
In some crazy cosmic ways, I guess that mini argument was a foreshadowing moment.
Yeah, apparently someone else did have feelings for Meri Jaan. At the current moment, if my knowledge is up to date, she’s over it.
But I didn’t know that yet because it hadn’t happened yet.
All I knew is someone who had gone through some pretty heavy emotional stuff with my man had feelings for him but he was dating me. Sound familiar?
I could hear him mildly panicking on the other side.
My reaction: “Oh, that’s it? Okay.”
He told me he thought I’d be mad. Not mad-mad. But mad.
My second reaction: “Don’t be too hard on her. Even if she does hold on to these feelings. Unless she assaults you or stalks you or something, don’t push her away.” And he assured me he wouldn’t. It made me respect him more. Honestly, I think I’d be more upset if I discovered he told her off or something.
I’m paraphrasing, but you get the sentiment.
Because I did know what it felt like to be her. I empathized with her. In a way that no one ever empathized with me. The least I could do was offer her what I never was offered. No, not benefit of the doubt or some empty sympathy or even worse a gentle “Don’t worry, you’ll get over it”. What I could give her was value to how she felt. My boyfriend is one of the most amazing people in the world. Who wouldn’t fall in love with him? I did, right? I knew why she felt the way she felt. And I could acknowledge that and try to shut it down. Or, since I’m a good person – maybe not a nice person, maybe sometimes a rude person, but a good person who understands the human psyche and the human heart – let her ride her feelings out. Process them. Figure them out, however she has to.
I trust Meri Jaan. The last thing he would do is cheat on me. If anything, if he did feel something for her, he’d be forthright and let me know. Doesn’t necessarily mean he’d fall out of love with me either. You’re capable of loving more than one at a time, in a romantic sense. I know that from experience too.
I know a lot from experience.
I suppose that’s why not much phases me.
And if he did love her more than he loved me or if he did fall out of love with me, I’d want to know that too. Because the worst thing in the world is trapping someone into a relationship that you’re not meant to be in. And if you are meant to be, you’re meant to be.
I don’t have faith in many things. But this? This, I have faith in.
Turns out, it’s not easier said than done at all.
It’s actually quite simple, if you love him and you trust him and vice versa, it shouldn’t matter if even a thousand other beautiful women, intelligent and sexy and compassionate, throw themselves at him. If he’s worth it, you’ll shrug it off.
