No one ever chooses to be stressed or unhappy.
But it is a choice to relieve that stress and to be happy.
It rarely seems like it. But it’s true. It’s quite simple. Every problem has a solution. In fact, sometimes several solutions. But for their own reasons (both valid and invalid, both intelligent and dumb), not everyone wants to execute a certain solution.
I think of one of my favorite Telugu movies, Chandamama. The plot is simple: Maha is in love with Kiran and her younger cousin sister Rani is in love with Dorababu. Unfortunately, due to a misunderstanding, the girls are bethrothed to the opposite man.
They had several outs:
(A) Scheming with a mutual friend to break their engagements.
(B) Elopement, which they nearly went through with.
(C) Telling their parents the truth.
Actually, they did do all three of these. In exactly this order. It turned out for the best when Ranga Rao, Maha’s father learns the truth from a heartbroken Maha who is unable to go through with elopement not wanting to hurt her father. But it could’ve equally turned out for the worst too.
And I think that’s why we often don’t take the necessary steps to solve our problems. The truth is Maha could’ve conveyed her situation to her father much earlier on. It isn’t that she was “unable” as we sometimes describe it when we don’t want to go through with an action that might potentially solve all our problems. But rather that she was scared she might worsen the problem. What if Ranga Rao decided he didn’t want to ruin his reputation by trying to the get the girls married to their respective lovers? What if he didn’t care enough? What if he got mad at her for getting herself a boyfriend? A lot could’ve gone wrong.
Actually even after all that, by the end of the movie, when Ranga Rao makes the switch, Dorababu’s father has a fit and Rango Rao ends up having to yell at him in from of the entire convocation…
The truth is, we can always choose to be happy. But every moment of happiness is countered by yet another disturbance of our personal peace. And rinse, repeat.
Which is okay.
Because what’s the point of life without a little chaos? Not too much. Just a little. Moreover, happiness does not exist without unhappiness. Relaxation and heart content do not exist without abundant stress. Because they are opposites. Like Newton said, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”, and thus:
