He’s a toy.
Not a real penguin.
Two Friday nights ago, while I’m hanging out with my friend, mid-conversation, I spontaneously take this little guy and yeet him across the room.
My friend stares at me for an entire second.
I had gotten the penguin on a date with Meri Jaan. I tell him as much.
“But what did the penguin do?” my friend asks.
I didn’t have a good answer. I picked up Mr. Penguin, said sorry, and put him back on the bed.
I know he can’t talk back. He’s made of cotton. But it’s for my own comfort.
He made a good point – not the penguin, my friend.
That same friend told me the next day that I shouldn’t just delete every photo of/with my ex. He said I should find a way to archive them if I can. Somewhere they’re not in my face. Somewhere I can find them if I need them.
And he reminded me of something I’d been forgetting because of all the hurt: yes, there were ups and downs but, for the first nine months, we were happy.
My friend held my hand and said something that I’ll remember for the rest of my life:
I guess sometimes we all do need to be reminded of how to think and what to do.
Healing doesn’t mean I have to ignore the fact that yes, it had its downs, but it did also have its ups.
I choose to remember both.
The downs so I know what to and not to do going forward, who to let in and who not to. The ups so I know I didn’t waste nine- sorry, ten months. So I’m reminded that in spite of all that bad that life’s got to offer, there’s a lotta crazy good it’s got to offer, too.
Forever and always, Meri Jaan, you will be a part of that crazy good just as they all will remain in spite of everything, even if I’ve moved on, even if the romance is gone.
