originally written December 9, 2025
Let me tell you the sexiest thing a man can give you…
His time.
Iravai nimishalu kosam inneilu entho mandhitho poradi odipoyanu. Kaani ee roju thelsukuntunna, nijamaina magadu nee chetha ei yuddhalu cheyinchadu, thana samayam kosam, thana sneham kosam.
[For all these years, I’ve fought with many for twenty minutes and lost. But today I’m realizing, a real man won’t have you go to war, for his time, for his friendship.]
A man who is not able to give you his time is not worth yours.
A few years ago, when my ex told me he might not be able to offer more than a few phone calls and walks, wondering if that was enough, I felt elated that he could and would at least do that. Every guy before and after that was willing to offer bare minimum felt like good enough. And I ended up giving my time to all the wrong guys. I thought other things were worth my attraction.
Intelligence; making me laugh; being the epitome of a jr. renaissance man, multi-talented to match my own multi-talented capabilities; being available and interested and sexy; teaching me to trust; driving me home and lecturing me about how emotions could be valued even as logic was exercised; reading everything I write and listening to everything I sing, praising my artistry; valuing consent; listening to me cry for hours and learning how to console me; teaching me to prioritize my health (even while neglecting their own); upholding that I don’t need to erase my past, delete all the photos, to move on, that it was okay to hold onto memories; debating philosophy with me for hours on end for the fun of it; taking me out for midnight drives on a whim and looking into my soul and letting me choose the music; disagreeing with every decision and thought I hold but valuing that it was my own and that I’m allowed to be as selfish as I want, because isn’t everyone?; being available and there, and telling me not to cry for those who have gone because it isn’t what they’d want; not letting me walk away when I was tired and angry and crying and hurting, and holding me instead; being able to hold conversations for hours, showing me a city I’d seen my whole life in a new light that I never saw before; opening doors and pulling out chairs and mixing sugar in my chai; being able to give me the kind of family that I want….
I’ve fallen in love a thousand times and these are the things I fell for.
The bare fucking MINIMUM.
Men (the women were straight and are excused) who were emotionally unavailable, actually unavailable, or otherwise incapable of love unless it was on their terms.
But today, I’m realizing, how beautiful it feels when someone tells you they’re willing to give you time instead of rushing you, instead of rushing out the door.
The sexiest thing I have ever heard a man, anyone say: “I’ll be more than glad to take my time.”
Game over, boys. Someone has finally managed to break through all my standards and has raised them.
