2021’s been something.
I saw a lot of people doing these recap posts on their Instas but how do you sum up your year in a couple of pictures? How do you ever sum up time? But I guess I thought it would be fun to try and sum up the last year.
I don’t know about the rest of the world, but 2021’s been this for me:
Started with heartbreak of one sort, ending with heartbreak of another.
A million other heartbreaks in between.
Finding love, losing love, realizing it’s better than to have never loved at all.
Finding friends, losing friendships, reconnecting with long lost connections.
Hospitals, wheelchairs, and canes.
Banana bread and pumkin bread.
Dunkin’ Donuts and Starbucks.
Walks at the park.
Swingsets.
Begging for remote learning to be over.
Complaining about the numbers of stairs I have to cross to get from one class to another.
One on-again, off-again boyfriend deciding he never wants to date me again.
The other asking if we can meet up and chill next week.
I’m pretty sure my middle ex doesn’t even remember we dated.
Turning into a workaholic and still not having enough things to do to fill in the lonely hours.
Binging on Netflix.
Wishing there was something new to binge on.
Not having enough time to finish watching or catch up with most of the shows I started.
Rewind: Madam Secretary, Gilmore Girls, TVD reruns, Legacies, TVD reruns again (actually I don’t think those ever end), trying to watch D.C.’s Legends, Flash, Supergirl, and Arrow in order – and several people telling me to ditch D.C. and go to Marvel, but hell nah, I’m a D.C. girl for life – Full House, Fuller House, (and how ) New Girl, Gossip Girl, Pretty Little Liars reruns, Fate: The Winx Club Saga, Bridgerton, Emily in Paris, yeah there’s way to many to finish listing now.
Learned I actually like Hemingway and Fitzgerald.
Wrote articles on two of my fav profs and plan to continue this for the rest of my time at my current campus.
Learned I love interviewing people. It’s fun.
Got published in an award winning magazine (albeit it belongs to my college campus, but hey, we beat out Harvard).
Took pride in not going to any Ivy League!
Became an editor for my campus litmag and applied to become an editor for one of the campus news sites.
Blocked out time to sketch my Best Lo- Friend, procrastinated, got it done in time for our return to campus Spring 2021 anyway.
Realized that I didn’t give enough credit to him when he told my Friendship’s the most important thing and finally understood that last night when I realized if I lost him as a friend it would break me a whole lot more than all the times I felt my heart break because of a romance gone wrong.
Got impatient and gave him the portrait the Wednesday before he left for his birthday weekend since it was my dad’s too.
Found out from my Bestest Friend why I didn’t hear her voice for almost one-and-a-half-years.
Thought I found my last love, turned out he was my Almost Last Love.
Was told “no” because I wasn’t a devout Catholic… (No hard feelings, but I will always have that moment of “what the fuck?” replaying in my mind because that should’ve been the first reason not the last after I got emotionally invested).
Told there’s no such thing as “partially Hindu” even though I’ve defined myself as “partially Hindu, partially deist, partially agnostic” since I was sixteen years old.
Went to church once (yes, for the Catholic guy).
Realized why I used to like to go to the temple, but only ever with my dad – for the architecture and history. But I simply cannot stand rituals and sermons of any religion simply because I suck at sitting/standing still and have zero patience.
Met Merry-Go-Round Man who made me realize I am capable of relaxing. I just need to be in the right head space with the right people in the right setting.
Got to do back bends in yoga class.
Learned Calc I, Matrices, and Calc II for fun and passed everything.
Wondered how to fuck I passed Matrices because though the actual matrices made sense, the Python code did not and most of the time, I typed a bunch of random stuff, hoping it made sense to the prof and I guess it did!
Got on the Dean’s List every sem and got nominated for a special award by one of my profs this sem.
Reminisced about how I nearly failed middle school.
Laughed every time people did a double take when I told them I nearly failed middle school. (In my defense, it was the most boring three years of my academic life. Personally, it was just… hell.)
Day after Mother’s Day was shit (but we don’t talk about that anymore).
Fought through my codependency issues.
And felt their reprise.
Fought them with a vengeance this time.
Realized Raj is the perfect remedy to my loneliness.
Found out I’m actually pretty good at acting.
Found out I actually did have a thing for my Dancing King. And remembered why I didn’t pursue it.
Got the chance to refine my dance, singing, keyboard skills.
Got the chance to do a professional dance performance for the first time in a long time.
Started several songs to add to my never ending list.
Finally am able to compose music to accompany my songs (p.s. thank you to Flat, my favorite music making app/website!)
Started composing music for my song, “Mirror”. (Follow @HitaRocks8LovesMusic in Instagram and subscribe to my music channel Hita Rocks! by Samhi C. in prep for the release of the song by mid/end-Jan).
Got to see the beach twice. Got to get into the water once. (I mean I didn’t even think that would happen at all post-COVID but wow!)
Felt a distance between me and my Sister from another Mother.
Resolved distance between me and my Sister from another Mother.
Saw a sunset, like a real sunset for the first time ever from the window of someone’s apartment.
Saw that someone shirtless later that morning and earlier that week, by accident both times, and nearly had a heart attack. (The Cherry Cola might’ve had something to do with the shaky nerves though).
Got addicted to Cherry Cola and Cherry Pepsi.
Decided Rasmalai Tres Leche is officially my most favorite Indian sweet and if the restaurant that makes it ever goes out of business or moves out of reach, I will cry.
Got on a Sky Life, a Sky Bridge, and a helicopter within forty-eight hours (did I mention I have a fear of heights?)
Realized I will never stop talking about the past because it is inspiration and to talk about it doesn’t mean we are living in it.
Consoled a couple of friends as they cried.
Got consoled.
Joined the Student Co. for my ResHall.
Accomplished nothing but planning a Prom Night.
Got everything approved in time only to have in person events cancelled the next morning.
Got to celebrate Holi for the first time.
Finally had closure for a missed prom (even though it was a Homecoming).
Finally decided I’m okay with my First Love not being my Last Love as long as he’s still one of my best friends. Actually, he was one of my first friends. One of my first real friends when I was entering a phase in my life that I knew no one.
Finally hit the high notes in “Naalo Oohalaku” from Chandamama.
Finally was able to sing “Neetho Unte Chaalu” from Ekkadiki Pothavu Chinnavada with the right bhavam.
Finally was able to memorize the lyrics for “For Your Eyes Only” by Sheena Easton.
Watched FCUK and fell in love with Jagapathi even more.
Rewatched FCUK because why not.
Freaked out when I thought I was losing Raj.
Got a few COVID scares.
Got several “we may have to move” scares. (And that somehow scared me a lot more…)
Saw fireworks for July 4th after a long time.
Played with fireworks for Diwali with family friends and actually had fun after a long time.
Misplaced my blue bangles and ring with blue heart.
Found my blue bangles and ring with blue heart.
Still haven’t gotten a license. This time ’cause of bad luck and not ’cause of procrastination. I mean car trouble on the way to the frikin’ DMW. Lowkey, I’ll be laughing at that as soon as I actually manage to kick start the process of getting my licence.
Realized even if I lost the world, I will never lose Raj.
Lost my ring. Again. No, for real this time, I have no fucking clue where I kept it. Guess it’s time for an upgrade.
Was ecstatic when I finally watched Tuck Jagadish because Nani is my second favorite actor in Tollywood.
Watched the Malayalam version of Dhrishyam 2 and now am refusing to watch the Telugu version that came out.
Spent Thanksgiving Break 2021 having a romance movie marathon including Titanic.
Changed the soundtrack to my life several times and currently… I don’t know what it is. Guess we’ll find out in the new year.
Got vaccinated. I’m all caught up unless there’s a new variant and fingers crossed that that doesn’t happen. (Vaccinated or not, please be safe people!)
Learned I like peach yogurt.
Walked in an underwater tunnel and saw sharks and swordfish in awe.
Learned I like hot mocha lattes and caramel fraps.
Decided I’d start journaling better starting in the New Year.
Managed to read a lot during the summer but barely at all during the semesters apart from school and want to change that. I am definitely reading at least a page of personal reading once a day for the rest of my life. No exceptions.
Read many great novels.
Recap: The Great Gatsby, The Sun Also Rises, Tender is the Night, Garden of Eden, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (my fav thus far and thank god I read it before Book#3 ”cause then I would’ve dropped the series altogether, that ending was way too prolonged and over-explained, but then again I was eighteen reading a book aimed at ten-year-olds), Instinct, Killer Instinct, The Captive Heart.
Learned extraterrestrial life may actually exist.
Learned extraterrestrial life doesn’t necessarily mean creatures with multiple eyes and legs.
Learned to solve the Rubik’s Cube.
Didn’t waver once on Chipotle being my absolute favorite.
Didn’t bother to expand my cooking skills.
Made what I dub “Indian mashed potato” for my friends once. Nearly cried when one of them said it tasted like his mothers.
Made “Indian mashed potato” for my family once. And I think we were all surprised when it actually came out good because I can’t cook.
Invented my own mushrooms and alfredo pasta which my friend said is terrific and I am a good cook.
Burnt a pancake and managed not to set off the apartment fire alarms.
Realized I love to bake.
Learned how to bake the best banana bread in the world from a Trader Joe’s box.
Watched a friend crack an egg with a knife and face-palmed and took over making the brownies.
Heard my Bestest Friend’s voice after nearly one-and-half-years and almost cried.
Started making plans to visit her. Who knows when that’ll happen but I’m certain we’ll meet again one day.
I published my first novel, When You Saved Me, on Amazon Kindle Books. You can click here for the Free Preview and Full Purchase page. Only $10.99 in United States right now.
Began writing my second focus novel and finally, to an expected/unexpected event last night, have broken through my writer’s block (no, like 100% this time) and plan on finishing the project by the end of next semester and I’ll start spamming all of you with ads to buy that instead.
And as crazy as the past 365 days of my life have been, I feel good.
365 days ago, I was a face only a few new.
365 days later, I’m a globally known name with not just hope but assurance that I’ll survive as an artist.
I refuse say, “Let’s hope 2022 is better for all of us” because 2021 has both sucked and been fucking awesome for so many different reasons. Just like every single year. In the face of a global pandemic, so many us (me included) have lost sight of the little things that still matter. But the world’s always been hassled by destruction.
And yet, we’re still here.
In fact, 2022 is inaccurate because the universe has existed for so much longer. A couple billion years. And it still exists. It suffered trauma long before humans were even a thing. And it survived.
These have been the some of the best and some of the worst 365 days of my life. And I wouldn’t trade a single one and any of the ones to follow.
We shouldn’t aim to make 2022 better. Let’s just try to make it good, something we can live with, something we can love.
